Annette Hedstrom moved to Bismarck at the urging of her sister, Missy Munson. “She would always say, ‘just move here’,” said Hedstrom. “I came to help with a graduation in 2009, and I said ‘does your offer still stand?’ She said ‘yep’ and I said ‘ok, I’ll be back in two weeks’. That was a little over a year ago.”

“And then she moved in with us,” said Munson. “We lasted about six months together in the same house. We hadn’t lived together since she was 13 and I was 18.”

The two girls had an interesting upbringing. They have the same mother, but different fathers. “Our mom got divorced when I was about two,” said Munson. “I went to live with my grandparents for about a year, because my grandpa didn’t think it was good for a single mom to have a child and go to work.”

She was able to move back after her mother remarried. “I remember when Annette was born,” she said. “We were so excited to have a baby in the house. I would push her in my little toy buggy.”

Unfortunately, their mother’s marriage only lasted a few years. “She had to work two jobs to support us,” said Munson. “When I got older it was just the two of us after school. I was responsible for her and mothered her a lot.”

“After I moved here, she finally stopped trying to play her mother role and I’ve stopped treating her like a mom,” said Hedstrom. “It is developing into a healthy sister relationship.”

“We are learning how to be sisters,” agreed Munson.

Before Hedstrom moved to Bismarck, the sisters would go long stretches without seeing each other and have marathon phone sessions. “Now she comes over and I say, ‘hey, want to go to Hobby Lobby with me’,” said Munson.

“Yes, every other Saturday we go to Hobby Lobby,” said Hedstrom. “She likes Hobby Lobby. I just go so I can spend quality time with her.”

The sisters might not have a lot in common, but they are working hard at getting along. “I have my way of doing things (in food service) in the most efficient way,” said Hedstrom. “When she was making a hot dish a couple weeks ago, she had such a mess with her cutting board, it took a lot for me not to say anything. I wanted to get in there with a knife and start chopping, but I just sat back and watched.”

And Munson is curbing her desire to voice her opinion. “We see things differently,” she said. “I get pushy and let people know what I think they should do.”

“Yes,” agreed Hedstrom. “She will say, ‘I really think you should be doing this.’ But it has become more suggestive, instead of just telling me what to do.”

Their differences showed up in many ways over the years. Their mother owned a restaurant and Hedstrom was the cook. Munson would come in to help ‘when they were desparate’. “She would write up an order like this, ‘cheeseburger, no cheese’,” recalls Annette. “Or I would step out to have a cigarette and come back in to find the wheel full of tickets. I would freak out, and then find out they were empty. It took me a long time to get to the point where I could take her humor.”

Their mother was very particular about keeping house. The girls shared in housekeeping duties and apparently, one was better than the other. “Mom would always know if I dusted,” said Annette. “I never put anything back in the right place.”

The girls were your typical shake-up-pop-cans-and-spray-them-all-over-each-other children. Annette was also something of a pyromaniac, starting fires behind their playhouse, on rooftops and even in the house. “Mom did get a new floor, though,” she said.

Their mother has always been supportive, especially during difficult times. She told the girls they can always come home. “But we weren’t sure we wanted to stay there anyway,” joked Missy. “I think it’s good to go home and figure out where you came from. Within a couple days you know why you left.”
She continued: “We saw mom in each other when we were living together. We would say, ‘you just did a mom look’ or ‘that’s something mom would do’. I think it’s hard on her when we’re together because we do pick on her a little bit.”

They really are starting to act like sisters.

The Erickson sisters recently celebrated their 11th ‘Running O’ the Green’ in Jamestown. It is a way for them to connect and have some fun. “We don’t really run,” explained Michelle. “And, when people learn we are sisters we ask them to put us in order according to age!”

Michelle is the oldest and when her mom started working, she was responsible for babysitting after school. “I remember someone calling Social Services when I was 10 or 11 and complaining that I wasn’t old enough to be babysitting,” she said. “After that we had to stay in the backyard when we were outside”

At one point, their dad decided the girls had to cook dinner so their mom did not have to. “The only thing I knew how to make at that time was a can of spam with fruit cocktail over it and then I would bake it,” said Michelle. “We would have that once a week.”

“Michelle is now the best cook in the family,” noted Stephanie. “She trades out household chores for a pan of lasagna.”

Dawn remembers some of those meals, as well. “We were always so worried about what dad was going to cook,” she said. “Stephanie used to always just eat cold hot dogs.”

The girls have their own distinct personalities. Michelle is the organizer, making sure the family is on the same page. “I am like the caretaker,” she said. “I am like my mom that way. She thought if it was sunny today, it would be sunnier tomorrow.”

Stephanie is the tomboy of the family and always seems to be living on the edge. She is on the local Roller Derby team and her nickname is ‘Deathproof Déjà vu’.

“Stephanie has been Deathproof Déjà vu from the beginning,” said Michelle. “She has had her share of stitches.”

Stephanie agreed she may be kind of a rebel. “I have always done things my way, but I have managed to succeed,” she said. “I love being on the roller derby team. I have been a mom since I was 18, and now she is 18 and it’s the first opportunity for me to have something to do.”

Dawn is very social, independent and put together. She describes herself as ‘kind of a nerd.’
“I would curl up in a ball in front of the heat register and read a book,” she said. “I always wore two polo shirts and matching socks. Matching was very important to me, I was definitely the preppy one.”

The baby of the family, Jessica, hates confrontation, loves everyone, and is the best mom in the whole world. “She does everything by that book, ‘What to Expect when you’re Expecting’, said Michelle.

“I think Michelle and I are a lot alike,” said Jessica. “We all have equal parts of Mom and Dad in us.”
All of the sisters inherited their parent’s work ethic. “That is probably why we are all successful in our positions,” said Stephanie. “When we grew up, Mom and Dad worked and worked and worked. That is one thing they would say about all of us, one thing we definitely got right is our work ethic”

Memories
A favorite memory for everyone is camping. “Our mom would have the camper packed and ready to go at 6:00 every single Friday evening,” said Stephanie. “Dad would get home from work, we would hop in the truck and go camping. That was huge for us growing up.”
“It was one of those campers that cranked up with the queen bed over the pickup,” said Dawn. “Michelle and I would sleep in a tent. Mom and Dad would get up early and go fishing and we had the run of the campground.”

“That was a great camper,” recalled Jessica. “I remember my dad snoring all night, fishing, dropping us off at an island so they could fish all day.”

Michelle spoke about another favorite family story. “My parents were all about honesty and following the law. I had this little frog I had made, you squeeze its cheeks and put a little Hershey kiss in it. We hung it on the wall in the house. One day I walked by, squeezed its cheeks and the kiss was gone. I think I was about 13 at the time. Nobody would admit to taking it, so Dad called us all into the living room. He wants to know who stole the Hershey kiss, but nobody would admit it. I think the older girls were grounded and everything.

At Christmas a couple years ago, Jessie decides that she should probably fess up, that she took it. ‘I have to tell the truth. I took that Hershey Kiss,’ she said. She got out of everything,” said Michelle.

A similar Christmas confession came from Dawn a few years ago. “Before we lived in Bismarck, we lived in a very rural subdivision of Mandan. There were drainage ditches on both sides of our driveway. My dad wanted to make sure mom stayed on the driveway, so he put up some posts with reflective tape so she wouldn’t drive in the ditch. I broke one and my dad was so mad, but I wouldn’t confess, so both Michelle and I were grounded for two weeks,” said Dawn.

Parents are Important
Alan and Jeanette (Dolly) Erickson were very influential in their daughters’ lives. “I was always amazed at my mom,” said Dawn. “I always felt she was never paid enough for what she did. My dad, too…he cared so much about what he did. My mom put him through college. She was a teacher and worked while he finished college. (When he started working) she would go out on jobs with him and hold the flags.

Their dad was a registered land surveyor and worked for the same company for 33 years. He encouraged his daughters and never compared them to each other. “He talks to each of us individually,” said Dawn. “He knows what is important to us.”

“Our mom taught us it’s ok to get emotional,” said Jessica. “she also taught us not to go to bed mad at each other.”
All of the sisters agree they are closer now than when they were younger. “I love to come back home and hang out with the family,” said Jessica, who lives in Fargo. “I didn’t spend a lot of time with Michelle and Dawn when I was little, so I am trying to make up for that.”

Michelle lives across the street from her parents and her sisters call her ‘Dad’s other wife’. “When mom goes bowling or somewhere else, Michelle steps up and makes dinner or just hangs out with him,” explained Stephanie.

“We do have boundaries,” said Michelle. “But it is handy if I need an egg or something!”

Growing up, the girls were not perfect. “Our parents are not happy with some of the decisions we have made in our lives, but they supported us and let us find our own way,” said Michelle.
Stephanie agreed. “I think Mom and Dad are proud of where we have all ended up now, because it could have easily gone another way.”

Editor’s note: When I went to interview Tina and Denice, I had no idea they came from such a big family. I had the opportunity to talk with some of their siblings by phone and get a few more details. Read on, about life with the Dvorak’s.

Tina Bakke and Denice Roller, who own Identity Salon in Bismarck, are the youngest girls of fourteen children. The family has three boys and eleven girls, all born and raised in Dickinson.

The younger siblings did not get to know the older ones very well, as there is a 25-year difference between the oldest and the youngest. “Can you imagine – 14 kids in 25 years,” said Denice. “By the time Tina was born, a couple of the older sisters were out of the house having children of their own. Our mom had children with her children.When Tina was born, she was already an aunt four times.”
“Our mom and our second oldest sister actually shared a hospital room,” said Tina.
Darlene remembers that very well, because she was the sister having the baby. “Dallas (her son) was born September 4th and Tina was born September 7th,” she said. “My dad walked into the room after Tina was born and said she was the prettiest one yet.”

Life in this large family was full of compromises, sharing and cleaning. “We cleaned the basement Thursdays, the upstairs on Fridays,” said Denice. “Mom went to the grocery store Saturdays and when she got home, this and this and this better be done.”
Their mother even let them skip school a couple times – if they cleaned first. “We begged to stay home on hot days so we could lay in the sun,” recalled Denice. “As long as the cleaning was done, she let us.”
“And, we were really good at sharing,” she continued. “We slept three to a bed, had hand-me-down clothes and shared bikes.
Mary Jean agrees. “We never got our own Easter outfit,” she said. “If there was a pair of shoes in the closet that fit, we had to wear them. It was a big surprise to me that I could buy new clothes after I got married. My sister and I had to have a double wedding, because Dad said we had to double up. There were three of us that got engaged at the same time.”

The Dvorak’s did not have a dishwasher, and apparently the girls did all of the dishes. “The boys never had to do the dishes,” said DeLayne Dvorak. “After we turned six, we were put to work at our Dad’s car dealership.”
The fact that their dad owned a car dealership didn’t affect their transportation options. “We had to walk everywhere,” said Tina. “We would walk to church every Sunday and fill up a couple pews. Even though our dad had a dealership, we all had to buy our own cars.”
But it did affect other areas of their life. “We thought to get to heaven, you had to be Catholic and drive a Mercury,” said Darlene.
Their father taught them all to be hard workers. “My dad always said ‘you’ll never be poor if you can sell ice to an Eskimo,’” said Darlene. “We were taught to succeed and couldn’t go anywhere unless the chores were done.”
And how did their mother handle everything that came with having fourteen children? “She had faith,” said Mary Jean. “She would always say, ‘what good does worry do me?’”
Their mother also knew how to deal with bad behavior. “When we were naughty we had to sit in the corner,” said Denice.
Besides learning there were consequences for their actions, the girls were taught to be independent. “We all had to find jobs and get working,” said Denice. “We didn’t get to participate in school activities much, because we would have to get to our jobs.”
There was some time to relax, though. “The neighbor ladies would come over for coffee and we would have to go downstairs so they could watch the Young and Restless,” said Denice.

There are five hair stylists in the family and Darlene was the first. “My mother wanted to be a hairdresser,” said Darlene. “I did it in her honor.”
Darlene was a big influence on her younger sisters. “We got into the hair business because of our sister Darlene,” said Tina. “She did hair in Dickinson for twenty years, then Denice bought the salon from her.”
“We grew up watching our mom give the neighbor ladies perms,” said Denice. “We would go to Darlene’s salon and clean the stations. That is how we found our passion.”
After Tina and Denice moved to Bismarck, they worked together at several area salons, then decided to go into business together. They opened Identity Salon four years ago and were recently awarded their second consecutive “Best of the Best Hair Salon” award.
“We have a great staff,” said Denice. “Tina and I support each other. We get along and work together really well.”
“We also have wonderful, supportive husbands,” said Tina.
The Dvorak hard work ethic has paid off for these sisters.

Editor’s note – I was very disappointed I was unable to meet with these sisters during a birthday luncheon. They were kind enough to answer a list of questions and Trish sent the following:

Where did you grow up?
We grew up on a farm southeast of Napoleon, ND in the Burnstad area and our parents were Anton and Johanna Horner. Our father built our modest home in 1951. It had five bedrooms and only 1 1/2 bathrooms. This was challenging at times with seven girls (and seven boys) under one roof. At one time 12 of the 14 children lived in the same house. The oldest sibling moved out in 1963 and the youngest sibling was born in 1969.

What was your life like growing up?
Our life was full of responsibilities and chores. We milked cows, hauled hay bales, picked rocks from fields, fed cattle, cooked, cleaned the house and let’s not forgot the ever-loving task of butchering chickens. Because of birth order, some of us are better at cooking and some of us are better at milking cows but we were all experts at butchering chickens.
Our parents trusted us to do our chores and we always did them. The farm and the work we did shaped us into the adults and the work ethic that we all have now.
Our parents also passed on many values to us – the importance of family, faith and the ability to lean on each other. We never missed going to church and we always communicate with each other.
There were never really any big fights, just small ones like whose turn is it to scrub the floors, who gets to wash the dishes and who has to dry. Mary Lou always wanted to wash. Marlene is the best cook because she didn’t have to do any milking until her senior year. Trish is the worst cook because she did do the milking and spent little time in the kitchen, and of course, Janet is spoiled because she was the baby and moved into town with Mom & Dad when she was in the 10th grade. Needless to say we all had chores to do whether in the house or outside on the farm.

Have you stayed close/get together often?
We are very close. After our mother passed away in 2007, Marlene and Pam moved back to Bismarck to be closer to the family. All seven sisters are now in the Bismarck/Mandan area. We communicate on a weekly basis and see each other at least once a week. We have birthday lunches and when one of the brothers comes to Bismarck, we try to get together for lunch or dinner with them. As a family, we get together at least once a year at a reunion or family wedding.
And, our families get along. Our children hang out together and are great cousins.
When our kids were little, we all helped each other by babysitting each other’s kids. Now that both our parents have passed away, the older sisters are sort of pseudo-grandmas to Pam and Janet’s little girls.

Are there any traditions you had when you were younger that you carry on to this day?
We have many traditions – soup and dougess(?), homemade dumplings, and in general good old fashioned German food that Mom always made. We prayed the rosary every day during Lent and every day in October (rosary month). We never missed church, we played pinochle and we danced polkas at every wedding with high kicking heels, Napoleon style.

The biggest tradition for us sisters started 23 years ago when Marlene lived in Cheyenne, Wyoming. We wanted to surprise her for her 25th birthday, so we took a road trip in our parent’s van and spent the weekend in Cheyenne for her birthday. Since she worked in a department store, we shopped, and shopped, and shopped some more! Hence, the annual shopping trips with Mom and Dad began. It doesn’t matter where we go, as long as we are together. We shop, drink wine, play cards and bingo, and just laugh with each other. We take this trip every May and the 2010 trip will mark 23 years. Although, Mom and Dad aren’t with us anymore, we cherish how much fun we had with them. Our funniest stories are from these trips.

How have your relationships changed over the years?
We are all close, but depending on what is going on in your life, you might be closer to the sister whose kids are the same age as yours because you can relate to each other with raising toddlers or raising teenagers. But the one thing that remains constant, is the love we have for one another. When Monica’s husband, Gary, died, we were all there with her helping her cope and supporting her and her kids.

That is what we Horner girls, do. We shop, we eat, we help other through good times and bad.

Editor’s note: There are seven Buresh sisters. I met with Anita Twardoski, the middle and only sister who lives in Bismarck. I was able to reach the others by phone and chat for a few minutes. Here is the result of those conversations…

The Buresh sisters grew up on a dairy farm 18 miles north of South Heart. Along with their parents, the family also included two boys. “We are very fond of our brothers, even though they always got out of milking the cows,” said Linda. The family’s house was located along the Green River, which offered the siblings activities during every season. “We had more fun in that river – swimming in the summer and skating in the winter,” said Anita.

Karen remembered the river also causing trouble when the whole yard flooded in the spring. “The chicken coop floated away,” she said. “Dad opened the door and the chicks floated out.” She also recalled something her parents still may not know. “Whenever we knew Mom and Dad would be gone for a long time, we would jump in the river,” said Karen. “We would pull the bloodsuckers off, dry off and get dressed before they came home.”

Having a large family had many advantages, especially when playing games. “We had enough kids for a game of basketball, football, baseball – whatever we wanted to play,” said Anita. “Our dad would play with us, too. Whenever we weren’t working we would be outside. In the winter after dinner, if all the chores were done, we would get all bundled up and go snowmobiling.”

Lavonne reminisced about how much fun it was to live on the farm. “Four kids would ride to school on the motorcycle,” she said. “Dad would take us on the tractor if there was too much snow.”

Of course, life on the farm was not all fun and games. “Our parents brought us up to respect others and work hard,” said Anita. “Every one of us has a very, very good work ethic. The girls milked the cows and the boys worked in the field.”

“We had to limit our sports and extra-curricular activities because someone had to milk the cows,” recalled Lavonne. “Our parents sold the cows when we all left because there was no one to milk them!”

The siblings were always busy on the farm. “Saturdays were cleaning day,” said Lavonne. “The house would get cleaned from top to bottom. I also remember no one ever wanted to do dishes – we would rather feed the pigs.”

The sisters remain extremely close, and more than one gave most of the credit to their mother. “Our mom prays for us every day,” said Karen. “She is our rock. She always has a good attitude and keeps in touch with us.

“Our mother is our rock,” echoed Mary. “She has always been there for each of us. She is an angel. When I was in third grade I got a bladder infection and had to be in the hospital for a week. My mom never left my side.”

And the sisters know they are still missed at home. “I think my mom would still rather have us all at home,” said Anita. “They can’t get enough of us!”

There was always excitement at the Buresh home and even a bit of trouble, according to the sisters. Mary’s arm was broken in an interesting accident that was hidden from their parents for many years “We were on the three-wheeler and my youngest sister, Michelle, wanted to drive,” recalled Anita. “I put her in the front of me and Mary was in the back. Michelle gave it some gas and the next thing we knew, we were balancing on the back tires and of course we all fell off. I fell onto Mary and when we got her back on, her arm was just hanging. We hid her in the barn until Mom and Dad left for dinner. She suffered the whole night and the next morning we told them she got her arm caught in ______________. We didn’t tell Mom (the real story) for years.”

“We were always supposed to be working,” explained Mary of the circumstances surrounding the accident. “Dad would have been so mad if he would have known we were just playing around.”

“There was never a dull moment,” said Leslie of life with her sisters.

Recently all the siblings were in Las Vegas for a family wedding. They shared two adjoining rooms and had a blast. “My brother Allen, who I am really close to, even bunked with us girls,” said Anita. “When we were younger, people used to think we were twins and I still talk to him every day, even though he lives in Minneapolis. He always wants to go on our girl trips, too.”

The Buresh sisters try to do an annual ‘girls-only’ trip, if someone isn’t pregnant, but it is getting harder as their own families grow.

“When we get together we like to just sit and visit,” said Anita. “There can be ten conversations going on and you get in on every one of them. Everybody talks at once. Our husbands just shake their heads.” Anita said there was a time of adjustment when the sisters’ spouses joined the family. “When I first got married, I remember my husband felt left out,” she continued. “There was a part of me that had to break away (from my sisters) and realize I had a husband. There were times he had to remind me I should discuss things with him and not just my sisters.”

The Buresh sisters realize they are lucky to have such a close family. “It is so amazing to be from such a large family,” said Michelle. “We didn’t have a lot of time for relationships outside of family, so we were all each other’s best friend. We are best friends for life.”

“For a big family, we all get along so well,” agreed Leslie. “Mom and Dad were always so busy, it was nice to have sisters to confide in and ask questions.”

The family has continued to grow closer and appreciate each other more with each passing year. “As we grow older, we seem to be getting closer – like having conversations about our parents,” said Anita. “The challenge right now is getting used to the fact our dad is slowing down a bit. He had a series of mini-strokes last year and can’t run alongside us anymore. Our parents did everything for us kids and never did anything for themselves. It is hard when you have aging parents.”

The many games of childhood baseball and basketball continue to influence the family’s activities. “When we go to Dickinson to visit Mom and Dad, we head to the Rec Center,” said Anita. “The kids go swimming and we’ll get a game of basketball together. My brother and his wife are big marathon runners. Whenever we get together, there is a group of us that go for a morning run. Someone once mentioned, wouldn’t it be neat if the seven sisters ran a marathon and went on Oprah!”

The Buresh sisters truely enjoy a relationship many others envy. “For every problem you have, there is a sister you can call,” said Lavonne. “Everyone has their different gifts they can give.”

“A lot of our friends will ask if they can be our sisters, they are jealous of our closeness,” added Anita. “I have a lot of wonderful girlfriends. As wonderful as they are, it is not like having a sister, my sisters.”